BFF

BFF...best friends forever. "BFF" has become a popular way of describing those of our friends whom we cherish and love deeply. It's a fun way to tell someone how you feel about them. After a conversation with one of my "BFF's" this week I started to think about friendship...and friends.

We all have different types of friends: acquaintances, co-workers, friends from school or college, church friends, family, best friends...hey, I even have about 450 Facebook friends! Someone once said, "There are three types of friends: those like food, without which you can't live; those like medicine, which you need occasionally; and those like an illness, which you never want." Well, I have my share of friends from each of those categories. It does seem that God sometimes gives you more "illness" friends than "food" friends. Right? I can't be the only one that thinks that. Ha!

When I really stop to think about the friends God has placed in my life, I have to admit that He has blessed me with some truly great friends. Friends that would be at my doorstep as soon as humanly possible if needed. Friends that - although time and distance have separated us - could pick up right where we left off and never miss a beat. Friends who have stood by me through the proverbial thick and thin. Friends who know the true me and still choose to be my friend and love me unconditionally. "Food" friends...

But, don't forget...there are others...

..."illness" friends...

Friends who...have betrayed me. Friends who are "friends" because it is convenient. Friends who only want "the inside scoop" on your life. Friends who...turned out to be not-so-much-of-a-friend after all. Even "Facebook friends" who only added you to see how fat you are and how much gray hair you have. Ha!

Okay, so I know I'm not the only one. And, I'm not so naive to think that everyone who calls himself a friend is really a friend. If we were honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that we have MANY acquaintances...but not many friends. I get it.

What I don't get...is how some of those "food" friends - and even "medicine" friends - can turn so quickly into being an "illness" friend...for no apparent reason. I know you've been there, too. You know, suddenly you realize that the same person who - at the very worst- had become that dreaded "illness" friend - was never really a friend after all. You're left with a void in your heart and a longing for the friendship that was never there to begin with.

Something else...

I don't understand how people can seemingly abandon a friendship because something somewhere changed. I've seen, and experienced, loss of friendship -or at least a greatly diminished level of comraderie in a friendship - due to a change in socioeconomic status. The fact that Deric and I were no longer business owners didn't change who we were. But some of our friends changed.

And, since I'm on my soapbox, why is it that the same people who claim to love you and care deeply for you - would do anything for you - never call to check on you or just call to say "hi' when logistics change...new job, new church, new gym, etc...

...were these people - who may have been considered "food" friends, or at the very least, "medicine" friends - really friends at all? Maybe logistics sparked the friendship...did logistics define the friendship? Are they "logistical" friends? Or were they merely acquaintances who were wearing the mask of friendship?

Okay. All of this really made me stop and think about myself as a friend. What kind of friend am I? Do my friends - even the ones I would consider "food" friends - categorize me as a "medicine" friend? An "illness" friend? Have I allowed friendships to wain because friends are no longer readily accessible?

The Bible says that a man who has friends must show himself to be friendly. Does that mean that my friends can only be as good a friend as I am? The Bible also says that a friend loves at all times. Does that mean I have to love my friends even when it isn't convenient for me? What about when his circumstances change? If my friend makes life choices - or maybe the choices are made for him - that I don't understand...do I still need to show love to him?

Obviously, the answer is yes.

Of course, there's no way to know how someone will react to certain situations until thrown right in the middle. My prayer - for myself - is that I will show my friends - all of them, regardless of "food, medicine or illness" status - the love that God shows me each and every day. He knows my circumstances. He knows the foolish choices I make. He knows when I have been a lousy friend to someone else. But, He knew that from the beginning of time. And, He still chose to send Jesus to rescue me. He loves me in spite of who I am, or how friendly I am to others.

That being said, I'm sure we all have friends to check up on...no time like the present...

"The road to a friend's house is never long."